Monday 14 November 2011

Great Deal vs Self Love


Living social deal, Gropoun, Gumtree deals…


They are the new great thing… We all love irresistible deals, massive discounts, no?


I get one of these emails everyday…


One day there was a 60 minute massage treatment just few blocks from my flat for £19 (£40 value)… Thought that would be great, expire date just before my 30th birthday so could treat myself and have a massage for the first time in my life…


They do say that’s something to do before your 30th’s?!


One week before expire date, book my appointment, feeling very happy that will come back home relaxed and feeling great….


Before the massage a few questions that leave me a bit intrigued. Have you ever had your shoulder dislocated before? Any other joints dislocated? Any major surgery or treatment? Heart problems?


Saying no to all those questions let’s get the treatment started…


Lay down face in the bed hole…

The first 5 minutes were very nice, some oil, the hand moving on my back and shoulders, it felt really good...

Short after I feel something pointy putting some pressure down on my left hip… Suddenly the pain hit me, HARD!!! What was going on? How can an elbow cause that pain?? It didn’t matter how much I moved or grabbed the side of the bed she wouldn’t stop! Not even go easier, she would actually press harder!!


Oh god, that was about to last an hour… And just to make things worst I could hear the clock ticking, very loud, very slowly…


After some good five minutes or more (at this point the pain was almost unbearable, I couldn’t count the clock ticks and the only thing I could see was the floor from the small hole in the bed where I was dragging my face down) she released the pressure and for few second I was so relieved it was over….


Silly me, there was the other hip!! Oh God, why do we have symmetrical bodies… I knew exactly what was about to happen…


Another very short happy moment when the hips were over… Honestly thought nothing could be worst than that… I fell her hands going much easier now, that was what I would be expecting of a massage, nice, relaxing…


- You would truly benefit with some regular treatment.


What?! Make that regular? Pay £40 to be tortured for a whole hour? I was regretting the £19 already!!


The only thing was able to say:


- Hum, Ok…


I probably gave the wrong answer, the diabolical heavy elbow was back right in the middle of my back. I couldn’t breath!! All my muscles were contracting, couldn’t she see that??


Last stop (I thought…) Shoulders… Now she was able to use the very known elbow plus all her arm to intensify the pressure, great technique!


- There is a lot of tension in your shoulders…


Tension = pain, that I learned!


She stops. Asks me to raise my shoulder to place a rolled towel under it. Moves my arm to rest in my back in a 90 degree angle. That was a confortable position...


- Take a deep breath in and out…


So maybe now was the relaxing part I was waiting for! Great, I didn’t have many opportunities to breathe until that point.


- Take another deep breath, on your own time, when you are ready…


What?! What was about to happen??


I feel her fingers going deep under my shoulder blade and she starts pulling it like a chicken leg!! That couldn’t be right, maybe I should have said yes when she asked if I ever had my shoulder dislocated before!


She took her time in that area, but finally I felt the elbow easing off in the second shoulder… She covered my back with the towels and I thought that’s it, she covers the "dead" body after the "treatment"…


-You can turn now…


When I turn the first thing that pops out in my eye field is the clock. Oh no, still 15 minutes to go! How could it be??!!


In those last 15 minutes I discovered you can get anything you want from anyone if you press strongly with only one finger that point between your neck and shoulder…


She gave me another voucher for a discounted session if I book in the next 4 weeks.


Hum…


Great, I’m going to sleep on that maybe one day I’ll wake up hating myself enough to go through all that again…

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